Meet Date Time Sex, Rev 2
Meet, Date, Time, Sex
Meet
her hair
her eyes
her lips
her nose
her hand
her fingernails
her skirt
her legs
her sandals
her toes
her smile
Date
the candle
the knife
the fork
the plate
the merlot
the chocolate
the espresso
the hug
the lips
the cheek
the smile
Time
the call
the day
the call
the call
the date
the call
the week
the date
the month
the dates
the smile
Sex
her hair
her eyes
her lips
her neck
her lavender
her silk
her nipple
her silk
her lips
her sweat
her smile
---
Well, this is really an experiment just to see what works/doesn't. I'm not sure which I like better right now. But these things have a way of being sorted out when you look at it long enough.
Meet
her hair
her eyes
her lips
her nose
her hand
her fingernails
her skirt
her legs
her sandals
her toes
her smile
Date
the candle
the knife
the fork
the plate
the merlot
the chocolate
the espresso
the hug
the lips
the cheek
the smile
Time
the call
the day
the call
the call
the date
the call
the week
the date
the month
the dates
the smile
Sex
her hair
her eyes
her lips
her neck
her lavender
her silk
her nipple
her silk
her lips
her sweat
her smile
---
Well, this is really an experiment just to see what works/doesn't. I'm not sure which I like better right now. But these things have a way of being sorted out when you look at it long enough.
tags: Poetry,
Fiction,
Writing
posted by Eric Heald-Webb at 12:09
2 Comments:
Awesome Eric. I like how you placed "the" and "her" infront of the solitary words. It adds character.
With sex I'd add "laughter" or "moans" or "bedsheets," maybe even "touch" or "body" - just for intimacy value. But other than that this is great.
One thing that popped up yesterday that bothers me about this poem is the use of 'sex' in the title and heading. I want to use something else. I think sex is too raw and emotionless for what I want to convey.
And thanks for the input. I'll ponder on it.
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